The juicy kind of prayer

I have always been fascinated by prayer. My grandmother praying to Mother Mary in a tiny chapel infused with candles and roses. The Sufi whirling dervishes completely entranced in that little Mosque in Konya, Turkey. The devotees of Durga Ma in that Diwali celebration in Houston many moons ago. The energy of prayer is unique and incredibly sacred. And yet not so long ago, I realized that when it came to prayer, I was missing the point. 

I connect deeply to archetype medicine. Wise woman, the crone within, is one of my favorite ladies. She showed me that I was subconsciously praying the way I was taught to pray...with a very specific outcome in mind. This is how most of us who were brought up in religious contexts learned how to pray. “Pray for this and cross your fingers until you get it.”

To me, this way felt limiting and ego-based. After much exploration, I have come to this: 

Prayer is a sacred spell. It’s sending out to the universe the energy of that which I long for (for myself, the planet and all beings) AND after fully allowing that longing to inhabit me….be completely willing to let it go. 

And how do we “let it go?” 

Through cultivating divine neutrality. That stance that allows me to love something so much to the point of being willing to let it go. 

For example, years ago I was ready to meet my partner. After a long journey of healing from a broken heart, I felt ready to open it again and truly experience deep, reciprocal, devoted love. 

I prayed by telling the Great Mother about how ready I was to meet him. I visualized him enjoying his coffee somewhere and prayed for his well being. I prayed through songs about our connection and me feeling deeply safe and held in my body while with him. I prayed by allowing myself to feel the deep longing and the simultaneous grief of not having manifested him yet. 

And then I let go of the whole “project” and trusted Spirit to hold the vision of what would be best for me this lifetime. “If romantic love is not meant for me, may I not turn bitter. Keep sending me messages of what I’m supposed to tend to and love.” 

Looking back, I can see how this practice shaped me in a profound way and allowed me to become the partner and mother I am today. It taught me that the longing in the celebration is in itself divine. Prayer is not outcome based. It is devotion in action.